tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post8883893757891580596..comments2023-10-24T00:38:48.463+10:00Comments on Journeys in Creative Writing: Thwarted Romance - Episode 10 of 'Paternity' an original Australian mystery novel.June Savillehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-5852280825528722142009-04-15T09:33:00.000+10:002009-04-15T09:33:00.000+10:00Hi SYLVIA
Don't forget I've been a professional wr...Hi SYLVIA<br />Don't forget I've been a professional writer much of the time since I was fifteen! Something had to rub off in all of that time. <br />Difference is what makes the world interesting ...June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-31265409593988852232009-04-15T02:57:00.000+10:002009-04-15T02:57:00.000+10:00The others have said it all and I'm way behind. Yo...The others have said it all and I'm way behind. You're a great writer. Our approach and style are very different, our different countries are an aspect as well.Sylvia Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05484577678585907669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-71985071225996433412008-12-24T12:06:00.000+10:002008-12-24T12:06:00.000+10:00RETIRED ONEIt's nice that you're hooked on somethi...RETIRED ONE<BR/>It's nice that you're hooked on something that's not going to give you a psychosis!<BR/>Seriously - thanks for the feedback. It's very much appreciated. <BR/>Let me know what Ozzie phrases/words have stumped you and I'll offer a glossary ...<BR/><BR/>Me? The template for PIP? Never thought about it. Perhaps we do share some of the features you speak about - I am strong willed but not to the point of stupidity. But then I don't think Pip would be either ...<BR/><BR/>I'm certainly determined - but risk taker? Not normally. But I do remember coming to the rescue of my son when I was staying with him briefly in a student house during university days and an interloper arrived at a party they were having. <BR/><BR/>This guy was drunk and attacked my son who was trying to control things and ended up on the floor underneath flying fists. <BR/> <BR/>Without any thought at all I grabbed the hair of the drunken one and rescued my beloved. The attacker was so surprised that he left the scene. That was risk taking!<BR/><BR/>I suppose that Pip and I shared journalism as a career and that made her fairly easy for me to write about.<BR/>Cheers<BR/>JuneJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-17971725093216368682008-12-24T11:45:00.000+10:002008-12-24T11:45:00.000+10:00June,I finally found the time to read all of the s...June,<BR/>I finally found the time to read all of the story (to this point) and I am hooked. Can't wait to see what happens next. I have enjoyed it very much.<BR/><BR/>I have a strong feeling that you may have modeled Pip a little after your younger self? (i.e. determined, strong-willed, risk taker, etc.)<BR/><BR/>I am struggling a little regarding the frequent peppering/use of the colloquial names, references and conversations in the story (second nature to fellow Australians ?, but unknown to someone who is not familiar with them). But, I understand the story needs to contain this to be true to its setting and characters.....<BR/><BR/>I will await the next installment....<BR/>Thanks,The Retired Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02466803019073952351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-66414056932479851922008-12-21T16:17:00.000+10:002008-12-21T16:17:00.000+10:00Hi PONDER That's one of the slippery things about ...Hi PONDER <BR/>That's one of the slippery things about being involved in a romance. There's something of a gamble involved - although not perhaps intentional. I think it's just that it is often difficult to read one's emotions, especially when involved in something intense. <BR/>To be or not to be ... To move in or move away ...June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-18114462846676336292008-12-21T16:13:00.000+10:002008-12-21T16:13:00.000+10:00CATH M Absolutely happy to swap ideas about our wr...CATH M Absolutely happy to swap ideas about our writing. As I suggested earlier that's half the fun. Mind you we may not always agree but that's all right too ... <BR/>Pleased you thought the end of the episode worked ok.June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-30883593386481584752008-12-21T16:02:00.000+10:002008-12-21T16:02:00.000+10:00DJ ROGUE I am into kudos! Thank you. I see you ar...DJ ROGUE I am into kudos! Thank you. <BR/>I see you are a writer too, and developing a novel. <BR/>'As the palette unfolds, hues of crimson and midnight blue color your writing' is nice. <BR/>Especially when you direct it towards my word pictures (!)June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-78816423956142724852008-12-21T07:45:00.000+10:002008-12-21T07:45:00.000+10:00June. Thanks for your comments. Yes - I do think t...June. Thanks for your comments. Yes - I do think the verse form at the end works well...in a way it reflects the protagonist's reflective/pensive mood as she contemplates her dilemma... you can almost sense the clogs of her thought process going round and round through the shape/pattern of the poetic form at the end. I'm always impressed with writers who are willing to experiment with different media/forms (e.g. prose and poetry) in their writing... as I mentioned Torday does this engagingly in his first novel. p.s. do let me know if you're happy for me to make comments on points e.g. ideas and sentences that I would reconsider during revision/redraft stages. Please do feel free to critique my work - things that work and those things that don't work so well too (I value the latter more so as a writer:) Cheers!CathMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14143141734424055810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-69334696191386521492008-12-21T07:38:00.000+10:002008-12-21T07:38:00.000+10:00Excellent imagery. The rubber heels of a police of...Excellent imagery. The rubber heels of a police officer coming down on a tiled floor; Joe's long fingers fondling the glass,,,et al. Well done June. As the palette unfolds, hues of crimson and midnight blue color your writing, KudosDJ Roguehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04432389983913074776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-29238609631047379492008-12-21T00:41:00.000+10:002008-12-21T00:41:00.000+10:00While it is so nice to have a shoulder to lean on ...While it is so nice to have a shoulder to lean on during emotional times, Pip will hold back thinking he is there for her though I hope it won't be too late. Enjoyed this !<BR/>Cherylcherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04907967489094621351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-64787451903726996642008-12-20T11:38:00.000+10:002008-12-20T11:38:00.000+10:00VIKKIMy great fan - thanks for the endorsement.And...VIKKI<BR/>My great fan - thanks for the endorsement.<BR/>And well may Pip ask that question eh mate? <BR/>Cheers<BR/>JuneJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-26292238411409063732008-12-20T11:31:00.000+10:002008-12-20T11:31:00.000+10:00CATH M - another someone who loves to write. What...CATH M - another someone who loves to write. What a fine short story Caroline's Butterflies is shaping up to be ... I enjoyed your blog too, and left a comment. <BR/>As you would know feedback is important to a writer and you surpassed yourself here. <BR/>I'm pleased you agree with the pace - I think the voice of a piece is crucial don't you? <BR/>The blank verse at the end is something I've experimented with every now and then in this novel. So you think it works? <BR/>And Joe hits the spot? <BR/>See you around CathJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-83904307453742865212008-12-20T11:24:00.000+10:002008-12-20T11:24:00.000+10:00Nature or nurture? That is the big question. Exce...Nature or nurture? That is the big question. Excellent! Loving this immensily June.<BR/>VikkiVikki Northhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00843590983216729306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-45876469464628887472008-12-20T05:54:00.000+10:002008-12-20T05:54:00.000+10:00JUDY you little psychologist you! How wise you ...JUDY you little psychologist you! How wise you are. <BR/>But then, will Pip fit the mould?June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-64596681674303457302008-12-20T04:03:00.000+10:002008-12-20T04:03:00.000+10:00I haven’t read this story from the beginning, alth...I haven’t read this story from the beginning, although I hope to do so when I’ve got more time.<BR/>Things I liked about this chapter. (1) The pace of the piece works well in building up the tension of the narrative especially in light of the difficult dilemma that Pip faces. (2) I loved this sentence: ‘Joe registered her rebuff, and he sat back, blue eyes melancholy, his shoulders slumped; wretched.’ (3) I also like the different style/form you introduce at the end of the piece. It kinduv’ reminds me of what Paul Torday does in Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. I’m looking forward to reading more from you!CathMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14143141734424055810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-25430600286086316252008-12-20T00:33:00.000+10:002008-12-20T00:33:00.000+10:00If Pip and Joe don't have a thing already, they pr...If Pip and Joe don't have a thing already, they probably won't. She may be letting this paternity thing stand in the way of a relationship. If she finds out who her father is, she may feel free to finally let a man into her life depending on the results. Right now she doesn't trust men.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12078537002880283509noreply@blogger.com