tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post7610107487678008838..comments2023-10-24T00:38:48.463+10:00Comments on Journeys in Creative Writing: Pip Stalks a Ghost - Episode 11 of 'Paternity' an original Australian mystery novel.June Savillehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-36889251024462840162009-04-15T13:01:00.000+10:002009-04-15T13:01:00.000+10:00SYLVIA
You have often written so fondly of your ow...SYLVIA<br />You have often written so fondly of your own children, and I'm sure they would love their mum. It's sad that you haven't had the close personal experience with your parents that your kids have had with you ...June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-41495640170988561382009-04-15T10:45:00.000+10:002009-04-15T10:45:00.000+10:00The story does grab you even though I have difficu...The story does grab you even though I have difficulty relating to or identifying with people who have or had close relationships with parents or even interest in parents or family. I know that sounds cold, but it's one of those things some of us get to carry around. I've moved past it for the most part, but some things bring it back. You're a very good writer, June, stay with it!Sylvia Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05484577678585907669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-37036168514232987482009-01-08T07:17:00.000+10:002009-01-08T07:17:00.000+10:00CHERYL/PONDERERI love family history too but you'r...CHERYL/PONDERER<BR/>I love family history too but you're right - doing it Pip's way is more meaty - although it could be painful!<BR/>Really pleased you're into the story ...June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-83841002147408618862009-01-08T02:51:00.000+10:002009-01-08T02:51:00.000+10:00I sat here and cheered for Pip being able to remov...I sat here and cheered for Pip being able to remove the goods, yes! <BR/>DNA is such a fascinating topic having watched a few specials with scientists tracking todays women in Mongolia to the fabled Amazons only these were in Russia centures ago. I've worked on the Family Tree for years but it is paper. To actually prove ones lineage brings one closer to home.<BR/>Really enjoyed this Chapter June, thank you !<BR/>Cherylcherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04907967489094621351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-64881909365864239422008-12-30T21:28:00.000+10:002008-12-30T21:28:00.000+10:00That's all part of the fun isn't it Cath?That's all part of the fun isn't it Cath?June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-82001657055355478622008-12-30T21:11:00.000+10:002008-12-30T21:11:00.000+10:00June. Cheers for your response. It's always very...June. Cheers for your response. It's always very helpful to hear about another writer's writing journey and experiences. And, thanks for the clarification re 'east' vs 'East' (lol)... I'm learning too... and, I s'ppose there are different ways and styles of writing if we look at US, UK, Canada, and of course, Australia. Something, I will need to keep in mind for the future... when I start thinking about marketing my work. Heaps of thanks for sharing!CathMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14143141734424055810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-92089151357658333902008-12-29T10:53:00.000+10:002008-12-29T10:53:00.000+10:00CATHM - This is my first real attempt. I wrote a ...CATHM - This is my first real attempt. I wrote a romance novel - a task I hated - and I hated the result but I needed the money. It went nowhere because I didn't have my heart in it.<BR/><BR/>This one began as a novella as part of my creative writing degree. My lecturer loved it but we both knew there was more in this than a novella.<BR/> <BR/>It's lain around like a bad smell for the eight years since, with me taking it out now and then to develop the plot and re-write copiously. <BR/>I have never got it to the stage where I was sufficiently satisfied to do anything rash like send it to a publisher for assessment!<BR/><BR/>Meanwhile I also wrote lots of short stories and poetry, many of which are on this site. Some of these have been published in uni anthologies and one won a competition.<BR/> <BR/>I do have journals in which I have done some research and early work for other plots.<BR/> <BR/>Life has been very busy and gets in the way but increasingly I ache for more writing and am consciously moving towards that. One of my problems is that I like the writing more than the selling and networking. <BR/><BR/>I must say I am thrilled with the response my writing has received on this site and know that I should use some of my marketing skills to test it further. Comments such as yours are important to me Cath. <BR/><BR/>So you see developing a book can be a slow gestation and that's the fun if we let it be that way. You are following a similar path to mine in some ways - with your fantasy novel begun and short stories and poetry simmering away. <BR/><BR/>The short sentences probably had their source in my work as a journalist from the age of fifteen years! Short and punchy as they say. But it has to be balanced doesn't it?<BR/><BR/>The 'east' versus 'East' I think is a matter of the colloquial style of the voice of the novel. I suppose longhand it would have become 'towards the east'. Unlike the Americans we don't capitalise parts of our cities in that way. They would have capitalised 'East' I think. And they would have put a 'z' in 'capitalised'!June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-88366027544361176482008-12-29T10:29:00.000+10:002008-12-29T10:29:00.000+10:00GoodonyerJudy! Thanks you for your encouragement....GoodonyerJudy! Thanks you for your encouragement. Yes - we will find out ...June Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-47753456411569817772008-12-29T06:17:00.000+10:002008-12-29T06:17:00.000+10:00JuneAnother impressive chapter! I admire your ski...June<BR/><BR/>Another impressive chapter! I admire your skill at sustaining this narrative. Is this your first book you are writing – or have you written others? I have shelved a novel which I hope to get back to at some point (a bit daunting though attempting a whole novel – I’ve managed about six chapters of that fantasy novel of mine) – and, I’ve got a few ideas for others... but at the moment I’m really focusing on short stories and poetry. Anyway, back to making a few comments on this chapter.<BR/><BR/>Some great imagery e.g. “The bus groaned its way into...”/ “Respectable houses spilled down the slope.” / “The tortured trees were trimmed into geometric shapes...” - Beautiful metaphors/ personification – subtly worked into the narrative!<BR/><BR/>I do like the way you create empathy (and believability) for the character, Pip, as she watches the world and reflects on her childhood where you write: “They made Pip think back to her own childhood – when she’d wished for a sibling of her own. Preferably a sister.” <BR/><BR/>Again, I must comment on your adept use of short sentences to drive the story forward. I especially loved this line: “That was it.” Brilliantly executed!<BR/><BR/>Lots of great descriptive narrative e.g. “Pip leaned down and took her aunt in her arms and they swayed there, sobbing together.”<BR/><BR/>One point... I’m not sure, but should ‘east’ read East where your write: “...took a bus east -to Balmoral...”?CathMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14143141734424055810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2106506707783681962.post-1694484862966595232008-12-29T01:54:00.000+10:002008-12-29T01:54:00.000+10:00Pip really lucked up by being able to take this st...Pip really lucked up by being able to take this stuff out of the gym with her. Now, she can have it tested and get his DNA. She will at least be able to either prove he is her father or not her father. I don't think he is her father but will wait and find out! You know I love this book of yours June.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12078537002880283509noreply@blogger.com